I met the only cattle rustlers I’ve known in a professional capacity. I was young reporter, and the rustlers were in a county jail in East Texas. Cherokee County, I think.
Rustlers are daring, cunning, dangerous criminals — at least in Hollywood. The two I met were “good ol’ boys,” meaning that everyone knew them well enough to hope someone else would give them a job. Both rustlers were broke and unemployable but knew where to borrow a gooseneck trailer. They consumed beer while working on an elaborate plan. The planning and drinking went on for hours. They awoke the next morning, hungover in jail, baffled that the plan had failed.
One of the rustlers had been hooked, kicked and stomped — mama cows defend their calves with the daring, cunning and ruthlessness that impresses Hollywood.
The motive was money. Even then, 10 pairs — a pair being a cow and a calf — might get you $10,000. That was close to a year’s wage in town. You could buy a small frame house on a country road for that.
But money aside, rustling was a serious legal business in Texas, where money is never an aside. The only thing the rustlers said in their own defense involved class. The man who owned the cattle was wealthy, and the rustlers were just scraping by. They saw themselves as Robin Hoods, though they didn’t plan to share the wealth. It just seemed right that they should have some of it.
If you ask me, any political party that represents the wealthy classes and espouses populism is playing with fire. But that’s another story.
As you can see, the rustlers didn’t make for much of a story. It would have been funny except they were looking at decades in prison.
The Old Editor was exasperated by the quality of the local criminal class and was prone to speaking in dialect when he was exasperated. He declared that all accounts of all crimes could begin with the same statement:
Earl and Joe Bob was drinking at the Hard Times and Misery Saloon when they was overcome by an idea.
I got to thinking about the rustlers because I’ve known another kind of rustler far better. He was a flower rustler.
It’s illegal in Texas, and probably in most other states, to remove wildflowers from public lands. The flower rustler knew that but was unrepentant. He was also daring and cunning.
He transplanted wildflowers in his yard until he didn’t have grass to mow. The wildflowers seeded the whole neighborhood.
He was the rustler that captured my attention. But I doubt Hollywood would be interested.