Hospitality — the place to start

 I think, but am not sure, that hospitality is the first virtue.

Of course we admire others more. We Americans don’t go long without pinning a medal on someone in recognition of courage.

But some poets have suggested that humanity begins with hospitality. I think philosophers should listen to them.

Psychologists have shown that we humans, as infants, distinguish between people within our group and those outside. It’s a matter of survival.

Margaret Mead, doing anthropological research among people with stone and bone tools, remarked that when a person comes across of a member of another group, the usual thing to do is to kill him.

The natural thing to do, in other words, is to be hostile, rather than hospitable, to the unfamiliar.

But we become more human — that is, we live better lives — by going against the grain.

Instead of killing the stranger, we benefit if we bring him in, feed him, and learn how he cooks, makes art and thinks. Instead of killing the lost pup we find in the woods, we enrich our lives by making a new friend.

Rumi’s famous poem “The Guest House,” begins with these lines:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

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A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

We shouldn’t just let strange people into our lives; we should welcome strange ideas, thoughts and feelings. We should learn to think things through, without all that fear of anything that’s strange.

Being hospitable is the first step to better thinking. And, if you’re like me and think with a pen, being hospitable is the first step to better writing.

When Roman civilization was collapsing, St. Benedict withdrew with a group of companions to keep the fires burning. He wrote a rule for communal living. The first chapter is on how to answer the door.

• Sources: Rumi’s “The Guest House” is at The Poetry Exchange:

https://www.thepoetryexchange.co.uk/the-guest-house-by-rumi.